drained..

woke up late
first class-Taxation begins at 8.30am; woke up 7:20.. i am a turtle in the morning so it takes me more than an hour to prep for school.. went to school late.. good thing sir ef never starts his class without me.. haha! i'm not abusive.. i'm just not a morning person.. : I
hurrying to school.. fast walk.. i reached the village's gate.. the best sight was seeing a motorcycle coming in.. and oh, the sun was so up already! it overpowered the perfume i had on.. :/

Taxation
two words.. NOSE BLEED! 0_0

trying to finish my lunch
my mom got me some food for lunch and it looked like a combo meal.. the plate was soooo full! potato salad, baked beef, sweet and sour fish, spaghetti, and some more which i did not want to look at because it was just so much i might vomit just by looking at it! i am not used to not emptying my plate since i grew up with the oldies telling me na 'makagaba na'.. i struggled then.. but good thing my mom was so hungry she volunteered to finish my food.. *sigh*

assembling my closing remarks
i am better at giving last-minute speeches than making it way before the event.. i was one of the coordinators of the assembly so i knew my part 2weeks ahead of time.. when i tried to come-up and write my remarks which i had to deliver 3hours after, nothing comes into my head.. my brain stopped working and i was so blank i wanted to cry.. good thing i'm momma's spoiled baby so she left her paperworks and made me my speech.. saved! :)

the MS activity of Sir Ef
at first it was so fun, role playing what he told us to do time-pressured.. we were really just playing around and laughing out loud eventhough it was graded.. sir ef was so game naman he was laughing with us the whole time.. but on the 6th round i lost all my energy i just wanted to sleep on-the-spot.. later did i realize it was a mentally and physically demanding activity.. *phew!* sir ef seeing my reaction made him laugh.. such a sympathetic teacher.. :))

the General Assembly
i had to be onstage several times.. gave commands the whole time the program was running.. answered the concerns of my co-officers and teachers.. from operating the camera to how to do this and that and finding alternative last-minute actions of this and that, blah blah blah!! it was worse than being on an exercise machine!
how it ended..
our college dean called me up and told me to see her in her office immediately after the after-care.. so after picking the crumpled papers all over the venue floor, i hurried to the dean's office.. i knew something was up.. my heart was pounding then..

the News
the heaviest load of the day..
i finally heared straight from my dean's mouth the thing i thought were just rumors.. i never wanted it confirmed but sadly, i just did.. CBM governor for the entire school year given all the majorest major subjects.. i was sweating so bad the entire time i felt soooo dehydrated afterwards, asking carlo to come with me and get ourselves some ice cold drinks.. plenty of 'em!
..the people's reactions..
carlo: kaya lagi daw nako di jud daw lagi ko niya byaan
my brother (lying on his bed): ako:"loy naa koy e-ingon nimo".. brother: "governor jud ka noh?! halaaaaaa!!"
ate: "naunsa ka?!.... aaah.. as in?"
mommy: smiling face :)
wardo: was making fun (as always) of me at first but later on expressed how willing he is to help me out
justmark: "kaya kay na nimo manang! go go go!!"
mam manet: she bombarded me with questions.. i think she isn't happy with what is happening
mimi: ofcourse my bespren expressed via facebook her all-out support

my facebook and my blogsite absorbs all my life's stresses, which explains why i'm still on the computer at this hour.. but for sure by the moment my head rests on my pillow i will be knocked-out.. O_O

i just don't get it.. : l

a year has already passed since dad's death.. along the way, there were A LOT of adjustments that i had to go through.. i knew from the very beginning that it would be really hard and it would take a long time.. but i never thought that after a year, i have to deal with another batch of adjustments with the other parent,.. my MOM! (and i just hit the keys hard when i typed those bold letters)

i know that one of God's commandments is to obey your father and mother, the 7th commandment i guess.. but there are just those times when you would just want to defend and explain yourself to them, which my mom finds bastos or tubag-tubag... i don't get it.. when she does something wrong even in little things she would always find ways to make lusot even to the extent of irrationality.. i don't get it!.. i find the norms in seniority soooo unfair..

these past few days i have been in several disputes with mom.. we could be so happy talking about random stuff now then seconds after we would end up arguing.. i have been through the stage of rebellion where disputes with parents happened often but i guess i'm too old for rebellion already so i don't consider this as one,.. and this time it's different and worse..

just yesterday, i was happy talking to my cousin about colors while watching the Tyra show which that time discussed about the science of colors.. the expert guest of the show said that those people who love wearing red tend to be high-tempered and are more aggressive.. so since mom loves red, i told her that the expert was right then cause she is high-tempered, and that's just to tease her.. but without hesitations knowing that my cousins were around, she immediately replied, "nganong ikaw dili ka ganahan ug red na MALDITA MAN UNTA KAY KA?!".. then there was the awkward dead-air.. and to think i volunteered to do the groceries that day even without being asked! i was like at the back of my head, "i don't get this.." she had been insisting these past few months in and out of the public that i'm really maldita which i find shameful..

so i thought, okay.. if you insist that i'm bad, i'll be bad! i'll stop trying to be a good child to you cause it won't make any difference anyway.. i nearly sent her a facebook message to tell her this.. but i know that another wrong doing won't do a wrong doing right, it would just make it worse.. and so as always, i just kept it inside me (which for sure days from now would burst out and become tears)..

trying to kick some optimism in me, while on my way home i realized that 'when you feel that the parenting is wrong, don't always go against it cause it would just end up in a fight.. instead, learn from it cause it will help you in becoming a better parent someday..'

i know that i'm gonna be a parent someday (with or without a husband! bahala na! haha! :D ) and i'm thankful that times like these come,.. cause by these i'll know firsthand how it will be like to be in those children's shoes.. :)

summer 2010 is..

- OJT hassle.. hahaay.. : I

- Glee marathons! mark saaaaaaalling.. @_@

- kulang sa swimming and beach outings but sagad sa bukidnon sightings.. :)

- net surfing galore as in up to 6am.. mader: "april! nagpakamatay na ka?!" haha! :))

- bonding time with nephews Migs and Stan.. played a lot.. :)

- missing the highschool friends.. everyone has been really busy.. and kung naay dli busy ako nasad ang busy or drained na ang energy to hang-out .. sheeesh! :(

- cellphone call and text dramas.. duuuh!

- ah! SIMS addiction! everyone in the house are again hooked by this makalumang game.. :)

- BROWNOUT!! my gaaaaaad!! but good thing it's over the day before election..

- hair makeover.. bangz.. ^-^

- birthdays.. birthdays.. and moooore birthdays!! i felt really loved.. <3

- baloleng and migs' graduation.. next level na sila!!

- still kulang sa bonding with family and friends so really looking forward to have some even on the last days of this year's vacay.. :)

-xoxo-

random... howdy? :)

my summer 2010 began with an amazing news.. i passed all of my subjects and might even end up on the dean's list, effortlessly and for the first time.. i hope daddy's proud.. :)

so to reward myself and to complete my summer vacay, i went to bukidnon with my brother and cousins and as always went around and had a reeeeeally great time.. any free time would never be complete without spending some fun and quality time with my cousins.. :)

sad to say, i have to fulfill my scholastic responsibilities so i came home and went into an on-the-job training which is part of our curriculum.. we got accepted in the Development Bank of the Philippines and so far, the people there had been really so nice to us i still enjoy the everyday work though it really knocks me out at the end of the day.. in this training i as well realized that it is still hard for me to be on-time especially in the morning.. i am and will never be a morning person.. hehe.. :)

at home, we have slightly moved on already from dad's passing.. it has been a year already, though it still feels like yesterday.. we commemorated his 1st death anniversary at his ancestral house with family and some close friends..

on a lighter note..

our house has been attacked by a contagious fever.. the FACEBOOK fever! haha!! i dunno when and how it all began.. months ago i was the only one in the family who had a facebook account and the next thing i know, everyone in the house already has one and my mom is already so addicted to it she would really push us out of our seats if we go overtime in front of the computer.. she fights for her facebook turn! haha!! and still about facebook, my uncles and momma had been posting really old and well,.. kinda yucky pictures of us.. majority of the pictures i looked like shit with my really short hair plus zigzag bangs.. hehe.. :)

uhmmm.. what else?..

oh yah.. i haven't seen my close friends for quite some time already.. it's kinda sad to think that we could no longer bond the same way as before since most of them had already graduated and are already busy getting into what the oldies would say as "the real world".. board exams, job hunting.. sad.. :(

-----

will be bonding with my cousins and dads and moms on the 3rd week of May.. so excited i just wanna pee! just kidding.. hehe.. :)

and oh before i'd end this!... watch Glee or you'll miss half.., no.. your entire life! the best show ever ever ever.. mark salling is a delight! :)

the unfortunate laptop..

the laptop at home has been really reliable especially in my blogging career.. and now it has become the most pasaway ever!
i sent it out for repair three times and paid three times as well.. then after its hospitalizations i was super glad to finally use it again.. 2 days after its again efficient use, its charger broke..

S***!!

i owe this blog a number of entries already.. ugh! >:/

the healing words..

i was going through my piled stuff this morning (my books and some readable and writable ones) and i came across the scrapbook that my cousin/sister/bestfriend Ating gave me on my 20th birthday.. so, i opened it again and as i re-read the things that she wrote in there, i just couldn't help but cry.. i immediately grabbed my phone and texted her saying how i miss and love her..

i decided to blog and share the things that she wrote for me in that scrapbook.. and i hope it'll inspire you to go on with life no matter how hard it gets, as much as it inspired me.. here it is..

FIRST PAGE:

April 22, 2009 (40 days after my father's death)

Right now, it might be difficult for you to see where this chapter of your life is heading to.. But rest assured that our God is a God of HAPPY Endings... and NEW Beginnings.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know what my plans for you are, plans to SAVE you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and to give you HOPE." :)

GOD LOVES YOU

SECOND PAGE:

Dearest Apyang,

Happy 20th Birthday! :) Babaeng bente na ka! Twins na pud ta! Haha

I love you bata :) and I miss you. Pyang if ako lang jud ang magbuot sa Ozamiz jud ko mag stay after sa kato Holy Week sa Cebu... pero saon ta man clearance and med school and all. But my heart and prayers have always been with you and your family. You're my sister, bata. Your loss is my loss and your joy is my joy. At times i miss your daddy so much that i need to stop and let the pain pass over. Then i think of all of you and i am reminded to be strong. Pyang, this journal is still empty. And i know that's how you've been feeling for the past 40 days... empty. Writing has always been your passion. And also, writing can be therapeutic. I give you this book to write in when you feel sad (which sadly is often), happy (which i hope to be MORE often), empty, full, irritated, patient... EVERYTHING! If you miss your daddy, write it down... If you recall a moment with him, you can write it down. And as you fill these pages, I pray that Papa God will also fill the emptiness in your heart. Give yourself time. "The Lord remembered us in our misery, God's love endures forever." (Psalm 136:23). He sees and He KNOWS how you feel. And He is telling you that, "Pyang, I am here for you and i love you." In our weakness Pyang, His strength is made perfect. If you feel that everything is too much and you can no longer bear the burden, then lean on Him. And when, not if, you get through that moment you'll realize that He carried you... footprints in the sand, remember? :) Bata, I love you. I believe in you :) I believe in Papa God :) I believe that He is working in you and your family. I thank God for the day you were born.

Always,

Ating

... and now i'm crying again! hehe.. Ating has been with me in everything that I go through since we were kids, along with Jedan. Life really becomes easier when you have people like Ating..

Ting, I love you so much!! I can't wait to see you this Christmas.. :)

i miss..

- my dad

- my Baliog dads and moms

- my cousins

- the beach

- the aquatic creatures

- the bukids of Bukidnon

- night-outs

- tequila

- DD

- my highschool friends

- my IIT friends

- magtanga lang the whole day!

haaaay.. :(