the unfortunate laptop..

the laptop at home has been really reliable especially in my blogging career.. and now it has become the most pasaway ever!
i sent it out for repair three times and paid three times as well.. then after its hospitalizations i was super glad to finally use it again.. 2 days after its again efficient use, its charger broke..

S***!!

i owe this blog a number of entries already.. ugh! >:/

the healing words..

i was going through my piled stuff this morning (my books and some readable and writable ones) and i came across the scrapbook that my cousin/sister/bestfriend Ating gave me on my 20th birthday.. so, i opened it again and as i re-read the things that she wrote in there, i just couldn't help but cry.. i immediately grabbed my phone and texted her saying how i miss and love her..

i decided to blog and share the things that she wrote for me in that scrapbook.. and i hope it'll inspire you to go on with life no matter how hard it gets, as much as it inspired me.. here it is..

FIRST PAGE:

April 22, 2009 (40 days after my father's death)

Right now, it might be difficult for you to see where this chapter of your life is heading to.. But rest assured that our God is a God of HAPPY Endings... and NEW Beginnings.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know what my plans for you are, plans to SAVE you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and to give you HOPE." :)

GOD LOVES YOU

SECOND PAGE:

Dearest Apyang,

Happy 20th Birthday! :) Babaeng bente na ka! Twins na pud ta! Haha

I love you bata :) and I miss you. Pyang if ako lang jud ang magbuot sa Ozamiz jud ko mag stay after sa kato Holy Week sa Cebu... pero saon ta man clearance and med school and all. But my heart and prayers have always been with you and your family. You're my sister, bata. Your loss is my loss and your joy is my joy. At times i miss your daddy so much that i need to stop and let the pain pass over. Then i think of all of you and i am reminded to be strong. Pyang, this journal is still empty. And i know that's how you've been feeling for the past 40 days... empty. Writing has always been your passion. And also, writing can be therapeutic. I give you this book to write in when you feel sad (which sadly is often), happy (which i hope to be MORE often), empty, full, irritated, patient... EVERYTHING! If you miss your daddy, write it down... If you recall a moment with him, you can write it down. And as you fill these pages, I pray that Papa God will also fill the emptiness in your heart. Give yourself time. "The Lord remembered us in our misery, God's love endures forever." (Psalm 136:23). He sees and He KNOWS how you feel. And He is telling you that, "Pyang, I am here for you and i love you." In our weakness Pyang, His strength is made perfect. If you feel that everything is too much and you can no longer bear the burden, then lean on Him. And when, not if, you get through that moment you'll realize that He carried you... footprints in the sand, remember? :) Bata, I love you. I believe in you :) I believe in Papa God :) I believe that He is working in you and your family. I thank God for the day you were born.

Always,

Ating

... and now i'm crying again! hehe.. Ating has been with me in everything that I go through since we were kids, along with Jedan. Life really becomes easier when you have people like Ating..

Ting, I love you so much!! I can't wait to see you this Christmas.. :)

i miss..

- my dad

- my Baliog dads and moms

- my cousins

- the beach

- the aquatic creatures

- the bukids of Bukidnon

- night-outs

- tequila

- DD

- my highschool friends

- my IIT friends

- magtanga lang the whole day!

haaaay.. :(

lately, i've been...

- lazy

- distracted

- soooo happy - Sir Ramel, thank you! :)

- bookish

- blog hopping

- mafia waring?

- reading my diary

- writing in my diary

- helping my brother with his box

- envious of my brother's blooming love life

- missing a looooot of people, especially those from my past

- excited to be back in school

- yet worried about the upcoming org work

- hospitalized

- traumatized (needles and hospital smell.. yuck!)

- seeing a "DD" look-alike

- missing the real "DD"

- insane

- being maarte (haha!)

- finishing a Paulo Coelho novel

- restless!!

:D

saan kaya nagmana ang batang ito?

sus.. kung alam niyo lang ang lahat ng kayang gawin ng batang ito na puro kalokohan, talagang maitatanong niyo kung saan nagmana ang batang ito..

sa program ni kuya migs, nag insist na dalhin ang kanyang plastic tool.. okay fine, payag si tita.. pagdating sa school, pakarga all the time.. laro ng laro sa kanyang tool na parang walang presentation si kuya migs sa stage.. kaya ayan, pinicturan ko nalang..

"booooring!!".. yan ang linya niyang walang kataposan kapag wala na cyang magawa sa buhay.. pero sa panahong ito, nag-iba ata ang ihip ng hangin.. tumahimik siya.. ng ilang segundo lng.. "booooooring!!"

sigaw ng tita, "smile staaaan!!".. at yan ang mga binagay na pose.. hay nako!

nainitan kaya kinuha ang pamaypay ni mommy la, umupo sa hagdanan at talak pa rin ng talak.. napapatahimik nga minsan pero ilang seconds lng talaga! ng napansin na pinipicturan ko cya, biglang nag ala-mowdeel.. yan! haha! kakatawa..

"tita iping nice ayo ako shoes.. pictura ako shoes.." okay! picture naman si titang uto-uto..

at pagdating sa bahay, pinasira ang glasses ng eye glasses kasi gusto niya ng glassess na walang glasses.. ang gulo noh? hehe.. gusto niya ng geeky mode kaya ayan.. muntik pa akong nasugatan sa kakadikdik sa glasses ng kung ano-ano para frame na lang ang matira.. haaaaay buhay..

HOI STAN! BEHAVE KA NGA MINSAN!!

hehehe.. i love you dong.. :D

si mister D na wa pa na get-over.. haller!!

lingaw najud na nako since the existence of internet surfing ang mag search ug mga tawo sa social-networking sites, especially facebook..

ug karong gabhiona, sa akong ka-garal, nangita nasad ko ni mister D sa facebook since before wla pa man gyud na cyay account.. ambot lang jud ko na ga cge pa jud kog damgo anang tawhana na 48 years na nakong wla nakita (pero mrag this december magkita na jud mi, finality! haha!!)

sa ako lng ma remember, mrag since nag highschool ko super duper mega over crushee-crushee na kay ni nko si D na sa ka OA, ga-suka ko sa D city katong time abi nako na maabot cla ato na party.. na wala rba jud! haha!! eeeeew.. :))

pro in fairness ha, mao rjud ghpon ang b***g.. kaakit-akit jud ghapon.. nyhaha! waaaaaaaah!!! aw.. asa naman to akong mga ig-agaw na supporters kaayo ani na loveteam oi! taas kamay naman dyan mga fans! wahahah!!

daoy! naa na sad cyay facebook kron.. ok ra unta to sa friendster kay ma tan-aw man ang profile maski common friend lng.. pro sa facebook na mas gna-update na niya, di naman madala ug lili! my gas my gas.. i cannot my mind.. unsaon man ni nako pag lili sa facebook niya woi? ulaw pmn e-invite! hehehe..

na.. nabuang na jud ko kay kadlawon nmn gung dako.. sorry ha.. nakalas imong oras sa pagbasa ani noh? ngano bitaw imong gibasa! bleh! :P

wahahahahaha!!! :))

- *BOWOWOW* -

the tomboy in me misses me.. and a huge part of it is daddy.. :)

I’m not gay nor bisexual of some sort, first and foremost.. hehe.. I just miss doing the boyish things that I used to do often.. with dad.

I’ve always loved dad’s company cause he treated me the same way he treated my brother loloy.. I like doing girly stuff with mom but doing boyish things with dad was exceptional..

i used to gamble in tong-its with dad before especially when there’s brownout.. haha! he’s even the one who gives me the money that I’d use for betting.. there were also times when I’d just sit by the dining table drinking some liquor and he’ll sit with me, ask how much alcohol does the liquor I’m drinking have, then just keep me company.. now how cool is that for a dad? J

there were also times when we’d leave the house, ride on his motorbike, go around the city, then pick some stuff to munch.. we don’t get to talk a lot about too personal stuff but our daddy-daughter connection was always there..

I can’t imagine how it’ll be like holding and firing a gun again without dad.. he was my mentor and my number one fan.. whenever we’d go out target shooting along with my uncles and my brother, it was always I who he was always so proud of that even having my earmuffs on, I could still hear his loud cheers especially when I get alpha shots.. I sooooo miss holding and firing a gun!

i’m looking forward to the time that I’ll be able to do these stuff again, especially target shooting.. I know it would no longer be as exceptional as it used to be with dad, but getting back that spunky feeling again would surely be amazing.. J